This is me .

its 0243 now . bored ~
super bored !
dunno what to do . might be going out later , countdown ? maybe ? daddy haven give miie an answer and he haven give miie MONEY ! if no money , jiu equals to no outing (:

im missing you ...

YUFEN IS BACK FROM CAMP ! (:
camp was tiring , both of my precious leg is aching like hell , and im limping when i walk -.- its really damn pain !
camp first day ,
at 6 am , baobeii morning calle-ed miie already . and then , came over to my house staircase and waited for miie to be ready and we went to mac eh ! ALOT NCC cadet there , only miie NPCC cadet . after that fengqing tutu and jinsheng came and joined us , after breakfast . slacked awhile , and baobeii send us to school(:
reached school . first thing ,check attire . sec3 was given a 'FAILED' cos some attire really CMI . so guys with long hair , aregiven rubber band to tire it up . so damn funny . next was breakfast . a few of my squadmate is like ," HUH?! BREAKFAST?? I HAD IT JUST NOW " well , im one of it too(: but no choice ,we still have to eat it . its super full !
okay ,
i somehow forget the activities , it might not in sequence=x
had 6 lecture on leadership and stuff from CIs and HOs . took down lots of notes , hopefully it would be used in future !
ohh yarhh , we had two amazing race , my group won twice ! *3cheers for yufen group ! and then , also we had singalong session . everyone was like so high , singing and cheering(:
in the night , i cant get to sleep man ! fengqing tutu , and baobeii pei miie sms ! and baobeii was good enough to pei miie sms until i fall asleep !

day2
PT ! was kinda of fun .
breakfast , YUHANG WAS THE SOYA BEAN UNCLE , he was the one was fill soya bean milk in to cups . lemin & i was arranging the cups . so we named yuhang the potential soyabean uncle !okay ,
after breakfast was another lecture , bout NPCC UNIT carried out by caroline mam ! had games again , and then up to AVA ROOM again . and we thot we gonna have lecture again . but NO ! CIs & HOs a video clip for us . its funny (: *3cheers for CIs and HOs ! after that , CIs & HOs also 3cheers for the JAGUARS , which is us ! the sec3s and 2s . after those , we have trust and confience fall . fun ! hees after that , debref and HOME-ED! (:

YUFEN says EDSEL er , seeyou later .
you promise to be at my doorstep when sun shine ! (: and thanks for everything . imy (: remember to call miie at 6 (: takecare !

feeling low ...
seldom contact with each other after that day . still loving you , and its slowly went off . i hope so , cos i think i had enough . you have her , while im going to findd my HIM . maybe life would be better after letting you go .
you seems happier nowadays , even though i dunn really like the way you do things . probably im the one changing and i change the view of handling stuff ? i dunno , but i hope you're fine . maybe one day , we could just be as normal as a panda yarhh ? but as close as how we used to be , cos now you doesnt seems to even bother to text or call miie when i din even contact you in the day .

STILL
no matter what , im still gonna be the one who will be there for you , stand by you and chat with you .

life as usual , no changes ...

why am i thinking of you every night ? why do you still appear in my mind whenever i close my eyes ? why are you the one ? and why am i still not moving on while you are ? met up with you today , you seems to change . somehow ? or maybe im the one ?

night is still hell for miie , for this few months . yet you know nothing bout it . ofcos , its becos i din tell you . but , imissyou lots . maybe one day , i will learn to let go . cos right now , im still not learn ..

When a GIRL is quiet ;
millions of things are running in her mind.

When a GIRL is not arguing ;
she is thinking deeply.

When a GIRL looks at u with eyes full of questions ;
she is wondering how long you will be around.

When a GIRL answers ' I'm fine ' after a few seconds ;
she is not at all fine.

When a GIRL stares at you ;
she is wondering why you are lying.

When a GIRL lays on your chest ;
she is wishing for you to be hers forever.

When a GIRL wants to see you everyday ;
she wants to be pampered.

When a GIRL says ' I love you ' ;
she means it.

When a GIRL says ' I miss you ' ;
no one in this world can miss you more than
that.

Life only comes around once make sure u spend it with the right person .

Find a guy who calls you beautiful instead of hot.

-who calls you back when you hang up on him.

-who will stay awake just to watch you sleep. Wait for the guy who ..... kisses
your forehead.

-Who wants to show you off to the world when you are in your sweats.

-Who holds your hand in front of his friends.

-Who is constantly reminding you of how much he cares about you and how lucky he
is to have you.

-Who turns to his friends and says, ' That's her!! '

If you open this you have to repost it, guy or girl, or you will have bad luck
for the rest of your life .

imissyou ....

EMMA NG !
gonna miss her eh . she went to turkey le ! she's now on plane , gonna reach turkey at 11 on 231209 (: hopes she's okay over there barhh (",)

stayed at home for the whole day . sis's friend came over to my house to slack and they had a mess in my house ! okayy , so the day went like this :

woke up at bout 11 plus 12 , went makan with mummy , daddy& jiejie at jurong . after eating , went to woodlands mart to pay bills and buy things at shop n save . buy finish liaoo , daddy send miie & jiejie home and they went out . so jiejie ask miie text shijie to tell him mummy went out le . after texting him , went to bath .
came out from toilet jiu saw shijie , wenjun and yang at my house le -.- super noisy de . joined them , went up to daddyTAN house to lend mahjong as my house mahjong set with michelle girlfriend . after lending , played mahjong with them . keep losing larhh . stupidd shit .

and then , after playing mahjong . i went to sleep , kena waken up by shijie . cos he ask miie can eat my hotdog marhh -.- den i say okay lorhh . after that cant get back to sleep liaoo . headache fucking pain till now still pain . something is very wrong with miie -.-
and they went home at 11 plus .

its now 0400 of 201209 . times flies . after mummy went out , met up with darling , si en korhh & zen at woodlands mart . after that , chatted with bubble tea shop uncle for bout 15 - 20 minutes and went off to 796 , as korhhkorhh wanted to pass his friend some stuff , so went with him .

walked all the way from woodlands mart to 796 there , walked past a few places and miie & korhhkorhh ralked bout last time , what we did and everything . after korhhkorhh passed his friend stuff , we went to admiralty cos darling wanted to go toilet . saw korhhkorhh's dad , din call him . cos at first , din know that its korhhkorhh's dad =x

after darling used the toilet , we proceed to 682 there to sit & slacked . talk cock bout lots of stuff , damn dumb shit uh . until 8 plus , zen and korhhkorhh went to findd korhhkorhh's brother while miie & darling went to meet up with baobeiiERpreciousPTS at woodlands mart , cab down there cos baobeii say he going down now . who knows when we reach , he also haven reach . dumbo baobeii i have (:

slacked with him all the way till 10 plus , joachim BRO came to join us and we continue slacking at woodlands mart carpark till bout 11 liddat . went to 765 to slack , had some quarrel with my baobeii & eventually he got angry ): but now okay le ! (:

till 11 plus 12 , darling and erzii came over to my house and slack . many funny stuff happen eh , played with hamster and played poker . until 1 plus , 4 other slackers came over to my house too , to slack ! chatted , joked and suddenly my mood when down down down ~

PMS i suppose? or i saw smth ? whatever , for what i got jealous , you're not mine anyway . -.- yarhh , and then bout 3am plus they went off as mummy is coming back soon . after they left , cleared up the whole house . bath and here i am to post !

until now im still not in the good mood . i really dunno what to do now . i've tried letting you go and this is what im doing now . but everytime i saw you , flashback came and i just feel like giving up already . no one's know what im feeling expect for myself . and just becos no one know how i feel , i got more moodless . felt so helpless ):

*edit
read up with my whole blog from the very first post till the very last post . this blog really contains alot of memories , regardless of fun & laughter or sad & cries . well , kind of stupidd but when i read this blog i eventually cried . really , flashback came back almost every night and i really dunno how to smile with that flashback in my mind . it really hurts a million times even when both of us is having fun .
/edited

its now 1337 of 191209 . nearly lost track of dates , luckily there's a handphone with miie to remind miie yeahh .
gonna rot at home for the whole day alone . gonna be fucking bored and i really dunno what to do . im having a very bad mood since i woke up , dunno whats wrong with miie . flashback came again , and im fucking lost . _l_

thought of lots of things , times and times of 'leting go' but none seems to success . felt helpless , closest ; most loved cant help . PTS is still asleep , but PTS i really need you now . faster wake up kay ?

heartbreak is all i got !

its now 0357 !
its fucking bored !
its getting harder to explain . things is changing , so do people !
AHAHAHAHAHA!
okay , xiaoFEN is crazy !
and bye ! _l_
-.-

life as usual .
hmmm , nothing seems to be better . oh yarhh , whatever . fucking shit .
FUCK YOU ! bye ! -.-
_l_

HOHO !
went to nizam randomBESTIE's blog and saw this photo ! ;D and missed NPCC alot
okay , misses fun & laughter with squadmate . misses all punishments with squadmate . misses everything with squadmate .

remembered when all were sec 1 in 2007 , even one was like nerd , all in-cooperate , no teamwork and all . but after much training & camp tgt with all dearest CIs & HOs 's patience , care and teaching , everyone became unite , teamwork was all there . but sometimes , things still cropped up when some refused to cooperate . still , everyone are still unite stay tgt .

and now sec 3 ; CLs of 2009 , some has lose interest with in NPCC and not attending it . desite of them , we still successfully at least organise a camp for 2009 sec 1 orientation camp tgt with the SCs and a camp for NPCC sec1 camp .
even though , we din did a great job . but we had tried our best , and we also had fun . hopefully the sec1s have fun too (:

until now , NPCC is still the best CCA i ever had . that can let miie forget everything during training , and wash away all the happiness . just becos of this squad , xiaoFEN managed to smile even school after schoool hour every friday . (:

had fun ever since joined NPCC ! no regret ! and there's a camp coming up , tgt with my squad , and CIs . hmmmm , i heard from TUTU that NCC is also having CAMP !!

281209-291209

reminder to all sec 3 CLs : remember to bring along your notebook ! thanks babe&hunks (:

work , play , train , rest . NPCC are the best !

continue to strive for gold unit again ! (:

its now 0410 in the night ! ;D currently chatting with chee guan korhh , playing cafe world at facebook and watching '恶魔在身边' devil beside you .
wonderful show ! watched alot of times le , but still love it alot ! the mike he jun xiang its damn handsome larhh ! omggg !
(: anyway , cousin say this to miie ' eh , sleep at 6 larhh ! ' walaoo ! ahahha. but i agreed to ! lalas.
okay , someone eventually spoil my mood ! okay , partially my fault .. but ! aiya . forget it ! BYE

okayy , missed everything .
missed friends , missed slackers , missed classmates , missed squadmates , missed someone , missed gans .
school better faster open . IMISS3N2/09 , meaning to say I MISS 4N2 /10 . missed all the fun that we had yarhh .

cousin and sister was singing 'happy family'
' iloveyou , you love miie
we are happy family ... '

thot back of humpty dumpty yeahh .
hmmm , nevermindd . i also dunno whas wrong with miie now ):

*claps claps !

happy birthday to jialin ! *last long with shawn HAOPENGYOU
din went to slack with them , was at home all day long .
rather to stay at home yarhh , wanted to go meet erzii de lorhh . but yarhh , lazy larhh . since cousin at home jiu stay at home with them lorhh .

nowadays , life wasnt that good . but still okay , there's still flashbacks . hopefully im gonna be fine . let things goes by it nature barhh , im too tired le yeahh .

was chatting on phone with someone ytd . and he told miie this , 'memories will be enough to be store in the mind ' . yeahh , things might go missing someday for what , but memories wont go away when it stored in its mind . damn meaningful phrase (: LOL~

ohh yarhh , i haven buy my books ! how how how ? ahahaha . i lazy larhh , im waiting for a later date , lesser book to buy . cos NO STOCK !! *happy (: who cares ! im going out tml to meet erzii larhh ! maybe nia lorhh . bleahh .

imissyou .

short post for today .

went woodlands mart .
home
yang xinganBAObEIIerzii house
guan korhhkorhh house
fetch cousin

homed.

to that person :
who are you to comment my life ? it doesnt even concern you larhh . so , that day you not in good mood my problem mehh ? i dunn give a shit la . i dunn care . so just simply fuck off , and i wont even care bout you can ? -.-

today went to bukit batok ! aunty house to see cousin willy's son , my nephew , baby kenji ! so fast he is 3 months old le , super cute de him . but he doesnt like to listen to songs , when he listen to songs he will cry like nobody business ! (:

took quite a number of photo of baby kenji , and 2 videos of baby kenji . he is like damn cute larhh , i also dunno how to say , just adorable !

ahahahaha , i also dunno what to say (:
pictures time !

baby kenji !

baby kenji , and baby kenji's dad

baby kenji playing with his daddy

kenji's mum , kenji , kenji daddy
HAPPY FAMILY !

father and son

song today : over you !

woke up at 245 on the afternoon today ! super late today yeahh ? ahahaha .

i also liddat think lorhh . woke up , sms-ed darling . she replied , and she went back to sleep -.- dumb her ! after that , went wash up and bath ; as the weather is damn hot !
after bathing , realised slackers all still sleeping -.- so stayed at home until 4 plus , went to 786 slacked ~ play poker with okamoto , sis and xinganBAOBEIIerzii . until 6 plus , went to woodlands mart buy stuff and went home !! kind of early rest ? cos mummy came home early ! -.- so must guaii guaii stay at home ! LOL .

went back home . had dinner , watched tv . at 745 liddat , mummy suggested to go to fairprice ! i say NO ! but i say ' if shop n save , jiu OKAY ! fairprice very far! ' and mummy say OKAY ! so jiejie fast fast go change , and we make our way to woodlands mart de shop n save !

and its time to spend mummy's MONEY !!! WEE~
bought many many many edible stuff ! ahahaha . i bought my kit kat , pringles , seaweed , maggie and many many many stuff ! super happy de ! now im psycho-ing to bring miie go reborn hair ! ;D ahahaha .

okayy , end here ! takecare people !

hello hello !
currently at erzii house . and now he went missing larhh ! ass him , throw miie alone at his house and he went to findd laoshu -.-

stupidd erzii say that ' head got cock ?! ' wth . fucking random !

anyway , was watching 'hi ! my sweetheart ' & now 'devil beside you' * thumb up . nownownow , waiting for that ass erzii to come home larhh . fucking bored leh . and xiaoFEN says she gonna change for better , can believe ? well , she also cant . but lets wait & see okayy .

xiaoFEN is feeling nothing now . xiaoFEN says she gonna try to let go already , its too tiring to wait . xiaoFEN says she gonna findd new boyfriend ! LOL . but ya , been saying nthis for like umpteen times , can she do it ? LOL she herself also dunno . lets wait & see again !

and let but not least , xiaoFEN is going off . might be posting in the night again . so continue to tag yarhh . everytime no peoplpe tag de , so ass bored larhh (: goodbye people ! loves !

edited /

ohh yarhh , nigel claimed that he's hotter than miie in facebook ! WTH !! lol . and now , fengqing tutu came along & join miie& erzii (:

posting more later on..

EDIT-ED 2 /

later in the day , guan korhh joined us too . met up with darling at woodlands mart with korhhkorhh , xinganBAOBEIIerzii and tutu . erzii had his dinner there , and darling and i went to buy tibits ! darling bought green tea & a lollipop and i bought kit kat and M&M ! damn long no eat m&m ! damn love it .

after that , darling and i met up with okamoto sis , daPANDA and cong at 746 . slacked at there , awhile tutu and xinganbaobeiierzii came to join us ;D slacked there all the way till 9 ! all came to my house to have their 'toilet break' while i take battery for jiejie .

after their 'toilet break' , they continue slacking at playground . and erzii sent miie to bus stop and pei miie wait for bus ; bus-ed to cwp to pass battery to jiejie at pizza hut . and bus-ed back to playground . slacked there till 11 and all went home .

the end of the day ..

xiaoFEN has thought it through ;D wish her all the best !
love you guys !
everything is like the video up there ! song : milk - letting go !

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY DEAREST BIN KIAT korhh !
hope you enjoy the day ! ;D thanks for being there for miie ! ;D smiled throughout the whole celebration ! like the present ?
hao larhh . all the best for your job yarhh ?
(: takecare . last long with my xinganBFsista !
loves brother♥

i shouldnt have did that . i shouldnt have thought bout that .

but im sick and tired of all this shit . but why cant i just fucking hell let go and findd a better one who is fucking hell better than him , in terms of attitude , appearance and whatever shit ?
i've tried to forget him , i've tried to let go . you know , its not what i want yarhh . but you people is like just fucking hell forcing miie ? its fucking difficult for miie . its fucking miserable , its not becos i like to torture myself by crying everynight , by looking at those scene , or hearing what i am not suppose to hear ?
am i in the wrong to fucking hell get emotional bout that case ? did you people fucking hell put yourself in my shoe and do you people fucking shit know how i feel ? so what if im gonna cry infront of everyone ? for fuck , for miie to bear with my fucking tears and afraid to cry infront of you people .
put youself in my fucking shoe before saying you hate seeing miie emo . i know there is alot of 'fucking inside' , so be it . for fuck , i change when everything seems no different ? for fuck i change when everytime i got back was just a heartbreak ? i ask you , FOR FUCK ?
i dunn fucking give a shit yarhh .
hate it ? just fucking hell fuck off ? I FUCKING HATE THIS SHIT when i aint myself ! _l_ I FUCKING HATE EVERYTHING ! I FUCKING HATE WHEN PEOPLE FUCKING LIE TO MIIE WITH THOSE FUCKING WORDS ! FUCK OFF !

another day rotting at home , i suppose ~

seems that im not that important anymore . or maybe im wasnt important at the first place . yufen , you are the fucking cause of everything , for fuck you do so much now ?
well , everything seems so wrong now yarhh .
for what , to continue waiting ?
for what to just wait for a msg everyday and not sleep ?
for fuck crying over spill milk ?
for fuck ?

whatever . this is miie , i have had enough of this . for whatever i've did to change everything , forget it . im tired , i really fucking tired of all . and now im in this state , dunn tell miie you hate it .

song above was damn fucking meaningful ! even though , its kinda old liaoo but yarhh . really suits miie alot yarhh .

mum was at home , so din went out today . played uno and mahjong tgt with big jiejie and cousin emma . won 3 rounds consecutively , they got so crazy bout miie when i laugh like nobosy business larhh ! well , still i had fun yeahh just for that period of time nia larhh .

its has been a long time since i stay at home for the whole day . looks like an idiot ! missed slackers ): hope mummy go out tml larhh , if not i will go crazy man .

night time , went dinner with daddy , big jiejie , both cousin at 888 . make miie so full like siao , but very delicious okay ! the food kinda spicy that miie , jiejie and cousin emma drink water like siao larhh . LOL . okayy , after dinner went home . and then , at here use com le larhh !

ahhh !!! fuck ! bo reply the msg in the morning !! ):
now waiting for msg again lorhh . ass sia ._.

you say that you know miie very well ,
everytime im down , you say you hate it .
but do you know , why am i in this state ?
you wont know the reason behind my emo-ness ;
you wont know the reason behind my tears ;
neither do you know the reason behind my pain .

dunn treat miie so well , i will fall deeper . if you dunn have the feeling , just stop coming close with miie . you're making miie fucking miserable already ...

7months3days

SONG of the DAY!

nice song , start loving it ;D
not a very good daY , somehow a good&bad day for miie. whatever .

ily

6months29days

YUFEN♥

"Love, something unexplainable"

Smile,
when life gets harder each day.

As survival is the key of life.

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