This is me .

why why why ?
byebye .

this few days wasnt myself , feeling DUPER low . chatted to certain people example like fengqing TUTU and other uh , trying to get some nice advice . but people only tell miie , dunn think too much . well, im really getting tired . hanging on there for 2months 24 days , going to 3 months . but i get nothing in return , wait and wait and wait but nothing seems to get back . once got a very big hope , but this few days , someone claims its true . but i doubt it would happen .

im not that strong like how you people sees miie . im still a normal girl , i still have feelings . i do feel down , i do feel hurt . i know when im out , i dunn appear to be sad . i know , but deep down its really a deep cut in it . promised myself to give up on him for umpteen times , but i couldnt do it .

felt so helpless , nights was hell for miie again . cried and cried and cried like an ass . couldnt do anythiing expect for that? well , though of something . not gonna tell here . im really so messed up now . am i suppose to hang on or to let go ?

im totally lost . like today , went to 678 there . was a very nice place , but i went emo . wrote things there , i suppose that would be my memories kept in . im sorry if i've did smth wrong .

friends out there , stop asking already . im really going to break down . i know you guys care bout it , i know im smiling to you guys but inside my heart im not .thanks alot .

and dunn tell miie that you love miie when you dont . cos it totally sux when you findd out its not true at all , and its the person you never wish it would be . this might the last time , im really getting real tired . and im still missing you .

this morning , kukunehneh came to findd miie and den waited for daddy and jiejie to be ready . and daddy sent miie and kukunehneh to school , as its raining in the morning yeahh ;D when reach school , kukunehneh want buy water , so we went to buy . after that , we made our way to second floor and went to look for si en KORHH , went to take things from him , chatted awhile and went back to classroom alreadyy .

did all things , temperature taking and everythiing uh . joking around with classmate , so fun . this is everyday things , AHAHAHA ! 3N2 ROCKS ! hmmmm, DNT lesson . well , its freaking bored!!! ~~~ rot . after DNT , had lights lesson more jialat !! DECOMPOSING ! and after LIGHTS , maths . FUCK SHIT ! totally gone case , was totally no mood for maths now . i mean like , you cant even catch the starting of the chapter , and you have to continue when you din even know a shit of it man ! you understand ? like , aiya . dunno how to say . yarhh , RECESS , finally a break man ! gosh . after recess , chemistry . first period was revising . well , it was my first time paying attention to chemistry since semester 2 yeahh . really pay attention , cos i have thought of it . since i pass my chemistry all the way for semester 1 , i think i can do it for semester 2 . so i tried to listen hard to what teacher says and explain . and when i got the test paper , it wasnt that difficult yeahh . i still can manage , hopefully i can pass ? i hope so uh !

after chemistry , that means i ended school ! BUT THAT WASNT THE END OF THE DAY ! went to do smth , and i went home to change into NPCC things things . took things and went back to school . met up with cynthia LOVER and went to change as we are kinda late already !

and NPCC STARTS!
will talk about it tml !
i need go off now . so sorry !
BYE!

my prepaid left $4 nia sia ! fuck. within a day ! ahahahahaha .
was smsing with bearBEAR and BIG PANDA in class . ahahahaha .

had lesson , i swear i hate maths lesson !! trust miie , its sux to the core . i dunn get anythiing man . and everytime maths lesson starts , i will feel so sleepy . but i cant sleep like WTF sia .

ohh yarhh , i had geog test today , i think i will fail with sexy single digits . GOSH !! CFM sia .

hightlight of the days ,
- (little dirty ) ahhaha . Guy ' Y ' scratch his EHEM , and claim that its itch down there . JOKE 1 of the day !
LOL
- i said to shane fuck you , wanting to pont a middle finger to her during recess , but instead of pointing a middle finger , i stick out my index finger !! ahhahaha
_l_ -----> l__

so fucking funny larhh , people around miie is like laughing =x so ps sia !!

tml im having chemistry tell , fail for sure . it will be the first time failing
alright !!
i've end my post , kenn cheah bearBEAR im done !! better tag miie i tell you ! ;D

JOCELINE , GET WELL SOON !! ILOVEYOU:D

and you .

life is getting rather suck now .
everythiing so suck is not not what i want , things is getting onto my way . im getting so fucked up with what im doing now .

its another 21st of the month AGAIN! this is the third 21st im on my own . friends tried their best to make miie smile on this day , wanting miie to not think of anythiing , i smiled to them , but im still thinking for you .

the second month of yours is coming . in a weeks time . hopefully you're happy .

i just hope you're happy , i know its kind of LOL . but its true for miie to be happy when i see you smiling and laughing .

i still love you , only if you still care .

dunn wanna talk bout school ! so suck-lish that makes miie feel like ... *faints*

currently chatting with kenn cheah ! he is officially my bearBEAR ! cool right ? this nick makes miie think till my head bursting can ! dumb him also dunn wann to help miie think . but lucky xiaoFEN is clever enough that she can think for herself!

okayy , since when i know bear lehh ! hmmm , its on 28may 2009. during the chalet of emma dunno where de . accompany her there . and well , we get to know each other when time goes by uh .

he super good kay ! i ate alot of his ice cream ! ahahaha . so funny during chalet ! but he like to disiao .
LOL

after the chalet , we din meet till last friday . the harry potter movie . but before that , we did chat in msn , well . seldom uh .

he understand how im feeling every now and then uh .

okayy ,

so reason im calling him bear ,
is becos during the harry potter show , i lean on his shoulder and eventually , i fall asleep uh . nice shoulder to lean on uh ! ahahahaha . like bear liddat ;D

and now , he is claining that to wait for miie to blog finish , he is a old bear le ! ;DD

okayy ,
to end this ,

i ♥ my stupidd bear , kenn cheah !

listen-ed to with you by chris brown .
all the memories came back .
for how much i've regret, you would never be back with miie .
we broke off for 2 months and 16days .
the feeling for you is still there , din fade at all .
you said i've change alot , you wish to see miie change back to the yufen you used to know .
and i promised .
everyday goes by , i lied to everyone i've get over you . but boy ,
i hasn't .
its hard .
people around miie , is saying that im stupidd . whatever is it , the fact is i still love you .
i told myself , you love her , you are happy with her , i need to let you go .
but i cant .

every night , im missing you . im missing the past .
looking at all the present you gave to miie last time , i cried .
all the present you gave , there's a reason behind it .

even before the day we started off , i remembered everythiing .
you meant lots to miie .
the hope you gave miie , im still holding on to it .
im still waiting .
whether is it worth , it depends all on you .
im not going to care whether people is saying im stupidd , im failure ,im being played , my feeling hs been toyed .

whatever you said on the day we slacked with cong and yang .
i remembered everythiing by heart . i may be foolish , what i want is just a chance .
i wont get into the relationship of you and her .
i'll just wait for you silently .

hello guys !!! im back .
i know i seldom use com le kay ! ahahaha .
same im continue-ing with my suckish life .
friday went to watch harry potter and the half blood prince with , second sis , emma , liyan , kenn , anslem , samuel , andrew , kohcheng, siti , lisa and many more . bout 14 people if im not wrong ,
ahahaha . nearly fall asleep on kenn shoulder , im tired kay ! but the show not bad uh !
the show ended at bout 10 . sent liyan home , and something happen . well on that day , the whole singapore is crazy can . that includes mine . _l_

went to upper serangoon to had dinner/supper with barry(dunno how to spell) , samuel , kohcheng and anslem ! everyone went so no mood . parted with them , and left miie , second jiejie and emma . waited for daddy to come and fetch us , when they came . same old thing , nagnagnag . and mummy say this to miie 'later reach home go into the room , goona settle things with you ' in chinese.

im thinking what i did larhh ! LOL . finally she told miie , teacher called daddy up and tell daddy bout my conduct in school , my latecoming all those crap! LOL . whatever . reached home , kena whack by mummy lorhh , was being slapped by her for the vulgarity ! _l_

everytime she beats miie , she keep repeating the same things , asking miie whether i still want to continue to studying or not ? LOL . and big jiejie came back and listen bout something , makes her so mad uh ! so funny .

after the beating , went to bath . after everything , think back of how mummy beat miie , makes miie think of someone . whatever . erzii knows how is it . and yarhh , my phone was confiscated too ! totally no linked with what i've done ! and it will be confiscated till like a month man ! gonna get myself a prepaid card ASAP !

sat was suppose to attend tikus♥ birthday party , but i was grounded ! i cant even contact her . im sorry kay , tik . din did it on purpose , will explain to you further more when back in school .

fengqingTUTU , called miie up and asked miie why cant get through with my phone . so told him my phone was confiscated . and he told miie tikus was looking for miie ytd . )= so DUPER guilty .

going back school tml , gonna give attitude to her . fucking hate her now .
shall wait and see .
fuck you !

-my phone is confiscated , anythiing call my house . for a month
-i must reach home by 430 .
-cant go out .not even downstair( i will sneak out )
-daddy will be sending miie to school everyday ! _l_

xiaoFEN's life totally suck now ! ahahhaha

too naive to think that you're the one .
imy .

went to cruise ytd and back on today ! took many photo on sister phone , cos my phone sot diao . was quite bored lorhh , and something make miie so shock , the cigg there sells at 4 only lorhh . so fucking cheap sia .

ahahaha .

ohh yarhh ,
on friday, after school .
slacked with baobeii , tutu , ahh gongg , vernon , darling , sayang and danish . had fun . but slack till like 3 . and all went off , and i went home .

reached home , bath and everythiing . rush to cwp meet up with cousin emma after that , went according to plan . went to get the COUSINs' ring so cool ! so love it .

went shop shop and then , cousin meina called saying that she's reaching . so went to findd her , ate at yoshinoya SUPER FULL .

went to power 9 again , and get another ring for cousin meina ! ;D so this four cousin has this ring ! so HAPPY ! cousin PBT ! ;D even though , we always quarrel . LOL . but iloveyouguys man ! ;D

after eating , went to party world ! SING~~~
fucking high larhh , and did much stupid things inside . emo-ed , smiled , cried and everything inside . songs makes miie feel everything .

ended stuff in party world .
and after that , surprise for emma ! ;DDD
lied to her that zen all never come .
and then , brought her to zen block downstair ! LOL . kena water both miie and emma , cos i stand close with emma . and i dunno what they going to do larhh ;D i like idiot liddat , kena water ! LOL .
and then , cake came out ! ;DD zen go push emma head down the cake when emma need to use mouth to pick up the candle ! bastard right ? ahahha. but i good , i help emma clean face.

after eating cake , slacked and chatt bout many stuff . left at bout 9.30 cos emma needa go home already ;D ahahaha .

had fun that day uh . and meina stay over at my house . end here

my blog is getting more bored .
photos upload soon!

on that day ,
you make miie feel that i was loved again .
you make miie feel that i found another better guy than him .
but we only last on 16hours .
thinking back , you say that you goona make people shock by showing people we can last , indeed , we lasted ! for 16 hours only .
and everyone is SHOCKED !

well , i rather we din even start before , cos now im seeing our friendship getting shallower and shallower . and maybe one day , we are stranger ?
i dunn wann this friendship to end just like this .
we are suppose to be more close than now . ain't we ?

firstly , im so sorry dude for not posting yeahh ! ahahaha . lazy to use com! :came online just to have a heart to heart with rachael jie ;D misses her

pictures in june holiday would be in my facebook , cos lazy to upload here , so fucking slow!

school is pissing miie off , temperature taking everyday , and PA system is damn irritating . whole class was so fucked up with it .

happy&sad things happen in just a day , i'll take it as its just a dream yeahh .

continued with life , with some sadness .

so today ,
met up with fengqing tutu , vernon and yang xinganbaobeiierzii at 6 plus , reached school at 730 , just nice when we reach main gate , national anthem start ! SHIT ! ahahaha . but nothing happen to us , cos we clever .

bo feel to study , i dunno why . thinking of stuff . went quiet and well , was waiting for someone msg ! LOL . whatever .

after school , met up with ahh gongg , tutu and co . and went to main gate to wait for jiejie ! its was raining uh ;DD and den to mac to meet up with baobeii . and sayang tgt with danish .

slacked at mac for awhile , and finally off to ahh gongg house . heart to heart talk to jiejie ! must din really complete the talk , as the guys was disturbing . nearly cried out when listening to songs -.-

till 6 i went off , back home to bath and everythiing . at 7 , chee guan korhhkorhh called and we met up he is with si en . saw erzii , baobeii and ahh gongg , went to 739 and parted with si en and chee guan both korhh of mine and erzii . they went to 777 while im tgt with baobeii , ahh gongg and tutu ! at carpark was fucking cold , baobeii and ahh gongg was doing stupidd stuff . LOL . awhile , baobeii went off . _l_

den bout 8 went back home with ahh gongg , he came up to my house , watch tv and chatted . till 845 liddat , ahh gongg left . so i clean up the house , and here i am using com ;D

YUFEN♥

"Love, something unexplainable"

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when life gets harder each day.

As survival is the key of life.

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