This is me .

FRIDAY
-school(ed)
-home-ed
-went to crescent .
-slacked till 8 plus
-homed. bathed
-celebrated edsel baobeii's birthday at carpark ! (= had fun
-home-ed
-prepared NPCC uniform
-slept

saturday ,
woke up 6 plus , went to necessary stuff . and was ready by 0715 , went to woodlands mart to meet up with xiaoping DI and he was late man ! waited for 10-15 minutes larhh . dumbo him . after he reached , headed to school for NPCC . went to change to uniform and then , taught lemin and huiling the flag raising sequence , as they are the flag barrier for this training . after all admin stuff , im in group 1 , so had rifle drills( second class drills) trial test. i passed! ;D quite fun uh , the rifle drill , did enjoyed much uh ! done with rifle drills , swapped with group 2 so i went to take the sec1s .

ended NPCC at 12 and make my way to woodlands mart mac tgt with xiaoping DI and daniel tan -.- met up with both rach and jes sis , and ofcos my xinganbaobeiierzii! ;D and ahh yuan also at there . ahahaha . for a while , erzii and ahh yuan went to crescent to join slackers while , both sis and i were at mac studying . LOL . study till halfway , mum called and said that she on the way back ! wth . rushed back , and then bout 5 plus , went down to farrer park to help out at aunty stall . SUPER shag , help out till 1+ and reached home at 2 plus . bathed and used com till 330 and then off to bed !

TODAY
woke up at 7 plus 8 , did necessary stuff and then went down to aunty house skipskipskip . at 1 plus in the afternoon , daddy came and fetch us , sent cousins home , sent grandma home and sent mummy , miie and cousin emma to farrer park . did same things , helped out in her stall all the way till 7 plus. and then , trained home alone . sms-ed with rach sis and alex jinyu . when reached admiralty , met up with alex jinyu at woodlands mart . and then , he sent miie home while he went up to daddyTAN house . he claims that he's tired but he is wandering around woodlands . crazy jinyu i have ! (=
so now , im help to post . its 1102 , soon im off to bed .(= im tired yo !

im still going to wait . even though i din hold a big hope , but i really hope that the day comes . imissyou boy .

went school with shane as per normal , ofcos daddy send us to school .
reading period , nothing happen .
DNT , went to workshop to do pencil holder -.- did it when im sec 1 man! and im doing again , bend my acrylic le , left insert the circular thing thing . if im not wrong , left that nia and im done with the workpiece . took mask to wear ;D mask rider of my day ! everyone say i kena H1N1 -.- im pink in health okay !
walking around in school and then went back to class , GEOG !
studied soft engineering dunno what thing de sia , but i did study kay ! hahaha .
SKIP!~~
had maths for the last period , do until i nearly sot sia ! circle here & there !*faints finally school end , halfway nia . breaktime before SST starts , sudden become very emo . also dunno why . attitude almost everyone , sorry guys . din smile until class photo taking , the photo taking took away 1period of SST away , happy sia ;D
after photo taking , went back to canteen for SST . did summary for EL ! after that , did chem in joce paper . awhile sst ended , and went to findd romzi met up with NPCC ICs, had meeting . if everything goes well on saturday , it would be wonderful ;D
after meeting which is 1730 , went to 786E to meet up slackers . slack awhile then went home . bath & ate , watched tv and here i am posting . takecare guys .

i've tired , tired of everythiing . telling myself over and over and over again , you're not worth . but i still cant get over it . i dunno why , heart seems to rather stubborn to give you up . everytime reach home , all alone by myself ; memories came back , everyday WITHOUT FAIL . soon tears came down .
feeling sux , but who knows how i feel . the pain inside , who can feel it expect for miie ? everyone is calling not to think so much , its not what i want to think . feel like breaking down , no shoulder to lean on .
imy

im back . ;D

seeing you almost everyday .
promised you stuff , i really din expect you to remember that thing . was happy enough , but when you called her mrs thien , you brought down my entire mood . well , i shall have learnt to smile when i hear that . but i just couldnt face the truth . remembering that i was once named as tang yufen and almost every of my friends called miie that .
cried over and over again . jes & rach sis was always there for miie . thanks , but i din really tell them what really happen , but they do know its becos of you . jes sis told miie no point thinking back . but i dunno how to not think back , i missed every seconds we used to spent tgt .
looking at both of you , i dunno whether i should bless you guys . or should i say that i blessed you two and now im here living miserably . tears always roll down uncontrollably , its either tears roll down without my permission or no tears which is more hurts .
i really dunno what to say already . day by day life is getting miserable i really dunno how to go on with my life le .
becos of you , i cried .
becos of you , i slitted .
becos of you , i smiled .
becos of you , i quarreled with friends .
becos of you , i quarreled with family .
becos of you , i emo-ed .
becos of you , i changed .
becos of you , becos of you . and its all becos of you .
to see you score well , i promised to smile . when i cried at home , no one knows . only snownite and ahding knows . i still cherish them as much as before . looking at you at a distant and smile is what i can do . when we are slacking , we are so near yet so far .
when you told miie you are studying becos of our deal , im real happy . wanted to say to you aisini . but i din , i think we have the limit . even though , now im single i say to everyone this but not you . cos if i ever said to you , i really mean it . you are studying whether is becos of her or our deal , i dunn care , as long as you study well for your n level , im already happy .
takecare .

firstly first , people tag miie with your names . i get frustrated whenever i see people tagging with a passerby , unknown or what as their name . even though , you people are giving good comment instead of spamming , i would appreciate more if you put your name down . alright ? thanks .

and then , secondly , no matter who are you . thanks for those words . i would still consider about it . no matter what , i wont go into that r/s yeahh .

thirdly ,
HELLO people ! xiaoFEN is back again uh .
i also dunno what to write . mind just cant be peaceful , its just so confused . making miie insane soon i think . tried keeping myself busy , tried not to think about it . but no , i cant . its really hard for miie .

when i went to plaza sing , i saw scene when we used to go there . to shop , for my birthday and you promised to miie to buy down that huge hello kitty in that shop . after that , we went carls' junior for meals . you inroduce beef fries for miie . that day , i was in good appetite that when you are full and im not . and i ate almost the whole burger . where ever i go , im missing you . every place i go , seems to have footprints of us . baby boy , have you forgotten everythiin g? everyone is telling miie you will come back to miie , is that true ? its really hurt for days without you . days without having you by my side , i felt so weak and feel like giving up . i promised you to smile , but smile to you on appearance , but im bleeding deep down in my heart . 3rd month tgt with her is coming , i suppose you are excited . im here wishing you all the best .

i dunno how to describe today . totally suck i think .
i've smile , i've laugh . im sorry to attitude people .

i dunno what to post .

is falling for you a great thing or a unlucky thing ?
for this past 3months and 18days , non stop missing you . telling myself you are no longer mine , telling myself im gonna give up on you . but no , i cant let you go . after the day , i fall for you which is last year , i told myself im gonna love you as much as i can give .
you showed miie whats love for that 1year2months&18days . we gone through tears , smile, laughters , fury and everythiing . and this is the outcome .
saying to you now , im regretting . but theres nothing i can do . looking at the hand of yours , really breaks my heart , i cant say anythiing . im not in the position anymore to care that much for you .
you told miie that you're sorry for what you have did on 21st . i cried , you know? no , you dont . it really breaks my heart when i see you so fucked up , i cant help you neither i can talk much with you .
i will bless&pray hard nothing gonna happen to you . as i've said from the past , im gonna do everythiing in order to make sure you're safe . iloveyou , still .

imissyou .

~~happy 1year 5months anniversary~~

thanks for the hug

my blogger is back to normal mode . thanks to qiaoling who told miie what to do uh . if not , i think till now my blog still siao sia.
;D
short briefing what i did in school .
back in school , completed DNT project in a period when others uses bout 2 weeks ? no larhh , got friends help also larhh . think i really wonderwoman to complete all things in 35mintues mehh. ahaha .

skipskipskip~~
slacked for chinese lesson
SKIP~~~
after school , went for NPCC meeting . for like 10-20mintues , after that went home bath and den went to 756 slack .
till 6+ went home .

1950 liddat , yuan cheng ahh gongg came over to my house . when i just done eating my maggie , and then cooked for him to eat also . after he ate , he went off ! LOL . as he told his father he would be back home at 8 . so said byebye to him , and he went home.

left miie& second jiejie at home . while watching tv , i emo-ed .

today a little sucklish day for miie , dunn ask miie why . how should i say , just like ... maybe moodswing ? emo ? aiya . i also dunno lehh , no mood for slacking , no mood to talk , no mood to sing , no mood to chat on phone . no mood to do this and that .
mood to cry ? maybe ? but i think too tired to cry liaoo . but i think no tears le . whatever it is , im just too tired of this sucklish life . just feel like giving up on this life . sounds so foolish & childish right ? yes , i know . but guys , its really lost when there nothing left for you . it really hurt . sorry people , maybe im just a bitch who break promises .

i hate tml , people save miie from that . i dunn wanna live on every 21st , the feeling really sucks . every memories is coming back to miie again .

im tired of crying .
im tired of missing you .
im tired of missing the pasts .
im tired to tell myself you're not mine .
im tired of thinking of the memories .
im tired of all this .
every 21 of each month , i felt lost . even though , i missed you . i cant do much things . you and her are that sweet . and now , im feeling so awful when i saw that scene . no one knows the feel , when the person you love so much was tgt sweetly with the girlfriend . i smiled , i've tried my best . but ever it comes to the time that im alone . im facing myself . and i failed to smile already . i said that im willing to wait , but days goes by the hurt you gave miie becomes deeper .

i can see now in your heart , there's only her . she determine your mood , she makes you smile , makes you sad , makes you angry and everythiing. becos you react to her , shows how much she meant to you . its another 21st again .
remember-ed the days you same to fetch miie after school & CCAs .
remember-ed that day you first hold my hand .
remember-ed the day you first hug mie .
remember-ed the times you said iloveyou to miie .
remember-ed the days we laugh tgt , smile tgt , cried tgt and finally took pictures tgt .
remember-ed the way you takecare of miie when im sick .
remember-ed that day you came over to my house when im ill .
remember-ed the way we determine that we are not goign to seperated when mummy & daddy knows bout our relationship .
remember-ed the days we patched .
remember-ed those times when you are worry for miie .
like i've said , pictures is always in my phone . i just cant bear to delete it , those memories was wonderful . i swear you would be the best guy .
even though it hurts , but i rather to see you smile happily .
iloveyou ,boy

tired-ness !
studying & slacking this few days . today almost late for school AGAIN -.-
reading period , so slack . nearly fall asleep but i din kay !
after that , mt lesson . SLACKED ! first period really is slack lorhh , went around the school like siao with shane . after that , second period did chinese letter writing den teacher PRAISE miie kay ! *claps for PAN ma ! ;D after lesson end , had english . SLEPT till geog lesson , guess what ???
i got 3/25 for geog ! POWER right ? omg . geog really sux larhh , no matter i study or not , still liddat de . well ,i improve kay , last semester 2.5/25 now 3/25 . improve by 0.5 marks ! cool right ? okay , xiaoFEn tried her best yo ! ;D
recess~~~
physics , kinda funn ! ;D nominated ray chua for innovative teacher hor ! he gonna love my class i think . guess what ? 3n2 almost all nominated for him . and when i gave him the form , i told him this 'you better love this class uh' ahahhaa . so funny sia. mt lesson again! slacked again! this time is with my SOONtutu! love him kay ! ;D
chem lesson , GOT 20/20 for class test . happy happy sia ! whole class sot , well same as miie larhh . starting TTY say den i dunn believe but end up really miiie sia , so fucking ps siol ! ;Deveryone say i cheat de sia ! walaoo eh ! shito )=
after school , at 786, kena screen by police -.- end up kena say we monkey ! so WTF sia . LOL , dragged miie bout like at least 20mins ! after that , went back home . bath and everything , went down to 765 to meet up with edsel PRECIOUS , fengqing TUTU , jieliang LIANG GE and rachael JIE ! slack-ed and the rest came along le . slack~~~ till night time lorhh ..

SKIP~~~

went to mac , saw zulfadli ! OMG ! both of us shock sia ;D after that , saw alex JINYU and wei hao NEPHEW ! ;D chatted and bought mac back home for my dinner . went home with ahh gongg ;D back home , did necessary stuff , ate , and started studying ;Dtill now which is 0018 . xiaoFEN is officially dead ! so fucking tired siol ! ;D

okay , tml got SS ! i doubt i cant go into class , we shall see ! BYEBYE ! loveyou guys ! :D

i've tried , im tired . i just feel like giving up in everythiing , im really tired . the pain is always there , din really smile happily after that day .

for how much i wanted , for how much i've cried , for how much i slit , for how much i did ; never came back in return . i have come to the point that im numb , expect for looking at you . i cant do anythiing , not going to cry , slit and stupidd stuff . im really numb&tired .

im trying my best to hold that smile on my face , but i dunno how much longer i can hold on . everything i promise you , i will do . i hope that you would live on happily that would be fine .

再痛苦，再艰难，我会熬过去。
依然活在回忆里，虽然心有点痛但我更不想忘了他。
可能这就是爱你的方式，你要快乐。要对他好点。
加油！陈玉芬。

woke up at 640 today !! mummy wake miie up , rush to do necessary stuff . next , i found out mummy is coming along with us , as daddy is going to send her to work ! -.- shane came up to my house , and daddy sent us to school . ahahhaaha .

was sleeping all the way in school , fucking tired . din really listen to lesson until the last two periods , MATHS ! faints . draw the graph till want die lorhh , keep having mistake sia . plus i draw graph fucking slow larhh . ahahaha . school ended , went home with ahh gongg . he sent miie home , and then he went home to bath and change , same for miie uh . but ahh gongg so slow larhh , i okay liaoo he still at home . make miie wait for him like so long -.-

went to 765 to meet up with friends , and slacked there . play-ed cards , chatted and emo-ed ! LOL . but much laughter there , total bought 3 bottles of 1.5 litres shared around with slackers . and now , im BROKE !!! ahhh~~~ its okay , take from daddy barhh . LOL .

slacked at 765 till 8 . and then , jiu went off with ahh gongg . met up with edsel baobeii , chu jie and jia min at 739 there the carpark . slacked at the top deck of the carpark , for consecutive two days ! but today little gossip , more on cards ! precious , ahh gongg , jiamin and chujie played cards , and i watch them play lorhh . since i played so much at 765 , hees . after that , ahh gongg teach chujie some tricks ! but chujie cant catch anythiing that ahh gongg say , and chujie still claim that he no brain ! so funny larhh . slacked at carpark till 920 liddat , said byebye to all . ahh gongg sent miie home , baobeii went home , jiamin and chujie went to findd their friends .

back home , bath , did maths homework and now im here using com man ! tiredness 101% ahahaha . soon to bed ! ;D

im enjoying my life now ;D crazy xiaoFEN

since you cant hold on your promise , i doubt i need to hold on to mine .

Zen claims that he is so handsome !
-.-

okay , im gonna love zen dam much man ! he did smth to my blog that he help miie to put it back to public . blogger gone haywire when i was editing my blogskin , and then it went private . i cant switch it to public , and zen help miie switch it to public ! ahhaha
ZEN TAY ! you;re the best best best man ! super love you larhh!

xiaoFEN is back .
school days again! LOL . was late again -.-
actually not !!! was outside canteen , had national anthem . after national anthem , went back to parade square to join the class . end up , teacher called miie , shane and kexin to go out GO cos we are considered late -.-
wtf . so we went back to GO lorhh , no choice .

lesson as per normal . but totally no mood for lessons , i also dunno why . just feel like failing everything , i dunno whats happening to miie . just feel like giving up in everythiing . everythiing seems so meaningless uh . lalas .

and had COMMON TEST english , paper was kinda easy , hopefully i can pass uh . after paper , went to cwp with shane and kexin . bought things , and then went back home . rotted .

at 8 , ahh gongg called and went down to slack with him and baobeii , had fun . joke around . always feel good tgt with them . both of them never fail to make miie laugh ! when they make miie laugh , i will really laugh like siao larhh ! so we slack till 9 plus , and then baobeii put $1 into the vending machine and ask miie to buy a drink , as i claimed that im thirsty ! ahhaaha .

xiaoFEN♥edselBAOBEII
xiaoFEN♥yuanchengAHHGONGG

i dunno what to say . things below is just my feeling , you can choose not to see . i think i have the rights to at least voice out right ? LOL

this few days i've thought much ,
since there is no more chances or maybe hope .
why not i let go ?
im still gonna lead my life . without you , im still gonna live on .
so listen to this ,
IM NOT LOVING YOU ALREADY !

next ,
im loving my gans ! found out that they are still there for miie , whenever i need them . findd myself so BITCH to not contact them , when im attached =x so sorry , babes and guys . i promise i will love you people !!

im back dude ! ;D
ahahaaha.
tiring day today . should not elaborate much , just after school , went to watch a bball match . after that , slackk ....

exam next week , and im here fucking hell no mood to study man ! _l_
how ? ohh well , i dunn really care now . -.- shall see how .

im still so emo ! LOL . only if you believe , im so happy with a plaster on my hand .
random-.-

now its 2205 , nights is still young ! my phone is not ringing !! HELLO !! anyone to sms miie?? provided you have my lastest number .
tired-ness 99.8% .
but i still cant sleep , fuck shit .

dunno what to say le , kinda moodless , emo , just feeling low .
bye guys .

i smiled as i've promised....

heart scattered .
im really lost . i dunno what to do . keep like stabbing myself to death .
forget it , i think this would be the last time .
im getting tired of things .

like i've say , dunn say you love miie when you dunn .
爱很痛 , 心很空 .

im sorry people, and thanks lynetter xinganBFsista , baobeii , ahh gongg and lin wei ears and advice. takecare ;D

dedicated to xinganbaobeiierzii .

photo above is taken a few months back . that was how close we used to be . but not now , after i was been grounded , both of us drift apart . not that close , or we should say we seems to be like friends only .

we used to shares joke , secrets , troubles and everythiing . im not saying you are not there with miie when i need you . you know , we really drift apart till that i dunno what to say to you . take ytd as an example , when you come down to 765 , you used to say hello marmie but ytd there's nothing instead you sms(?)miie , makes miie doubt if i am still your marmie . we din even talk more than 10words . and you went to slacked at the playground , there was much things to say to you . but ... forget it .

we used to hug , and saying takecare and everythiing . ytd , there was none of it . when you leave just with a bye . and i ended with a xinganbaobeiierzii ,

i know i attituded you just now ,
i was happy to see you online i thot i have much things to tell you . bout my life this few days but when you reply , i dunno what to say . you replied miie with a ' ? ' when you used to reply a ' MARMIE ! ' all sort of sweet stuff . but not now .

erzii , after losing him . i seriously dunn wann to lose you . you accompanied miie throughout the days when im feeling fucking down , i dunn wish to see us to become like nothing after miie being grounded . im not saying its all your fault , partially i din contact you . whatever it is , marmie still ♥♥♥ xinganbabobeii erzii .

hope to slack with you asap . missya 020408

YUFEN♥

"Love, something unexplainable"

Smile,
when life gets harder each day.

As survival is the key of life.

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